Another day, another blog. Welcome to it, dear friends.
I’m sitting (okay, standing) here with my new Woody & Jim mug. I feel like I’m on a TV talk show right now. I mean, sure, the handle is a little wobbly and I’m risking my life by putting liquids hotter than room temperature in the mug but it’s still a nice gesture. Thanks, Woody (I think)!
We went to lunch yesterday as a show to talk about plans for the future and to catch me up on what I’m doing. I’m producing but what does that REALLY mean? Turns out, it means exactly what the definition of the word is. Huh. Go figure. I should probably do a little studying.
As promised, we revisited R!ley saying that chewing up food and feeding it to your child isn’t gross. Well…put your money where your mouth is…or food where your mouth is. Whatever. Eat chewed food. Jim tried. (see video)
I’m the amazing videographer of the above piece. I know, I know…DON’T DO VIDEO IN PORTRAIT MODE. First Jim sent me this
and then Woody texted me later that night about an app that fixes video. It’s for people like me.
I get it. I get it.
All of this happened when after R!ley was called a dumb b*tch while walking her dog. R!ley was on her phone and her dog poo’d. An older man assumed she wasn’t going to pick it up so he just started yelling at her. While it was her intention to pick it up, now that crotchety old man started yelling at her and then CALLING HER A DUMB B*TCH, she walked away. The dude took her picture and threatened to turn her in to apartment management. Was she in the right or wrong?
No matter your opinion, you can see why R!ley went straight to violence when talking about re-eating Jim’s food.
You’ve GOT to see Jim today. He’s hosting a huge bash this afternoon. Okay, it’s not a bash at all. Let’s get serious. (I’m not really good at that) Jim has been asked to play music at a funeral. He traipsed in this morning looking all dapper in his crisp white shirt and black slacks. In radio, wearing that outfit is the equivalent of showing up at the grocery store in a tux. You stand out.
Sing with me, kids… One of these kids is not like the other…
By the way, Woody would like you to know that Animation Domination High-Def starts on FOX July 21st. At least, that's what his shirt says.
How “into” the holidays are you? I’m like the master celebrator. I love planning and hosting parties, I love dressing up and, apparently, I love dressing like the American flag today. Hey, it’s the 4th of July tomorrow. Let’s review: Jim looks like a prom date and I am dressed as an American symbol. Lovely.
Note to self: Never say “My breath smells like butt”. Your butt will then smell like Listerine. I just felt a cold spritz on my back side. Now I smell like a mint surprise but my breath is still rank. What to do, what to do.
Last night, Jimmy Kimmel had Johnny Depp on as a guest. During the interview, Johnny kissed Jimmy three times. Um…yeah! Who WOULDN’T want that? Gay, straight, whatever. It’s Johnny Depp.
I had a friend in town and she brought up the fact that JD (that’s what the cool kids call Johnny Depp – and the ones who get tired of typing out his full name) had purchased a mansion in town. Well, duh, we had to go looking for it. The neighborhood is a gated community and quaint. Like, you wouldn’t expect his massive home to be placed in this area. Leaving out details for fear of legal ramifications, my friend and I got in. I’ll just say that it’s thanks to a neighbor. The whole time we were in the neighborhood, we were freaking out. “What if we get caught?” “What if we’re being watched?” “What if another neighbor doesn’t recognize our car and calls the police?” I was driving a freaking minivan. I try to remain undercover in real life, let alone in JD’s neighborhood. Our plan was to say that we were high-end house cleaners. We had no cleaning supplies and we weren’t wearing outfits conducive to cleaning. It was a crappy excuse. After getting the below picture, we tore out of the neighborhood at a calm 30 mph. I was freaking out inside.
I’ll never do it again.
OMG it smells like dogs.
Oh, it is dogs. For real. I was getting ready to call out one of our co-workers. I heard some jangling noises (is that a word) and assumed it was a necklace. It's a collar.
R!ley is left-handed. I didn't know that. This changes everything.
No, actually, it changes nothing.
Yes, this is how my brain works. Welcome inside.
Ladies and gentlemen, that's a wrap. The last part of the show just snuck up on me.
Have a great 4th of July all!