A study has found that the month you were born could have a big impact on your future job. They have the data to back it up. People born in certain months end up in certain careers more often.

--JANUARY.  Lots of doctors and debt collectors, fewer real estate agents.

--FEBRUARY.  Lots of artists and traffic cops, fewer physicists.  Also, people born in February are most prone to narcolepsy.  (???)

--MARCH.  Lots of pilots and musicians.

--APRIL.  The only career that's overrepresented in April over time is . . . dictators.  People born in April are also more likely to have lower-than-average IQs, and more health problems.

--MAY.  Lots of politicians, fewer pro athletes.

--JUNE.  Lots of CEOs.  Also high on Nobel Prize winners.

--JULY.  Lots of manual laborers and artists.

--AUGUST.  Lots of manual laborers and high-ranking politicians.

--SEPTEMBER.  Lots of people in academia and sports.

--OCTOBER.  Lots of politicians.  People in October are also most likely to live the longest.

--NOVEMBER.  Lots of serial killers.  Also, people born in November are most prone to bipolar disorder.

--DECEMBER.  Lots of dentists.  Also lots of religious and secular MESSIAHS . . . everyone from JESUS . . . to STALIN and MAO.