A study has found that the month you were born could have a big impact on your future job. They have the data to back it up. People born in certain months end up in certain careers more often.
--JANUARY. Lots of doctors and debt collectors, fewer real estate agents.
--FEBRUARY. Lots of artists and traffic cops, fewer physicists. Also, people born in February are most prone to narcolepsy. (???)
--MARCH. Lots of pilots and musicians.
--APRIL. The only career that's overrepresented in April over time is . . . dictators. People born in April are also more likely to have lower-than-average IQs, and more health problems.
--MAY. Lots of politicians, fewer pro athletes.
--JUNE. Lots of CEOs. Also high on Nobel Prize winners.
--JULY. Lots of manual laborers and artists.
--AUGUST. Lots of manual laborers and high-ranking politicians.
--SEPTEMBER. Lots of people in academia and sports.
--OCTOBER. Lots of politicians. People in October are also most likely to live the longest.
--NOVEMBER. Lots of serial killers. Also, people born in November are most prone to bipolar disorder.
--DECEMBER. Lots of dentists. Also lots of religious and secular MESSIAHS . . . everyone from JESUS . . . to STALIN and MAO.